Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Appendices

Appendix A
Notes for travellers:
Obtaining a visa, especially for Americans, requires as much
patience and flexibility as one can muster. On my second attempt,
it took about six months. To get the visa, you’ll visit an embassy
or consulate with an authorization code issued by the Iranian
Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Without this code, you have nothing.
Remember that its a huge pain in the ass for a visa facilitator in
Iran to get an American into the country at the present time. Just
because you’ve been given Dates X through Y doesn’t mean
those are the days you’ll be in the country. Its a shell game, at
least for Americans, but, quid pro quo, unless on scholarship, its
impossible for Iranians to come to the US.

Current to this writing Americans, while able to set their itinerary,
can only enter the Islamic Republic with a guide. Working
through an agency, a guide/agency payment will be made up front
using correspondence banks with approval from either US
Departments of State or Treasury. The tourist is responsible for
all the guide's accomodation, food and transportation during the
length of the visit. Prices of guides vary anywhere from $20 -
$200/day, some with car. The guide will most likely be contracted
through the agency. A good guide will daily save you through
random negotiation time, money and convenience. I had a great
guide, mash’allah, motshakeram.

Israeli stamps in your passport will mean denial of Iranian visa.
Foreign women are expected to wear long sleeves and a scarf, but
not a full hejab or chador (unless they so desire, it can be winter
there). Single women may need permission from local authorities
and/or a male family member to get rooms in hotels, especially if
you’re under 40. Men should also wear long sleeves and refrain
from shorts. Shoes much bigger than the feet that wear them are,
like so many places, quite popular in Iran.

The national currency is the rial. Presently a US dollar converts to
about 9100 rials. Here’s the catch: the notes are marked “rial”
and prices are typically written in rials, but everyone talks about
“tomans”, which is a factor of ten rials. 9000 rials = 900 tomans.
Know this.

US dollars are widely accepted in hotels. Money can be changed
on the street for a rate equitable if not slightly better than a bank
or exchange outlet. You will at various times have large wads of
cash on your person. Iranians know this. See: Safety (below,
Appendix G).

Alcohol is forbidden (re: available on the black market). If you’re
looking for a Girls Gone Wild experience, you’re in the wrong
place. An estimated 80% of Western Europe’s heroin addiction
arrives through Iran via Afghanistan performing a perfect act of
jihad - “let them kill themselves”; still, drug offenses will land you
in jail, maybe hung by the neck in public.

The two-word description for ‘Nightclubs’ in Lonely Planet sums
it best: “Dream on.”

Be sure to bring proper electrical converters and toilet paper.
From what can casually be gathered, abortion is a scientific act in
Iran. Iranians can acquire a temporary marriage, lasting as little as
an hour. When necessary, drawing water from the pitcher in a
hotel room’s refrigerator never led to a problem.

Iranians are obsessed with good behavior. If you’re polite and
show common courtesy, you’ll be fine in Iran. Even if you can’t,
you’ll probably be fine. Thankfully for everyone, Moslems in
general are laid back and hospitable, while most American
tourists travelling in Iran want to be there, study social protocol
beforehand and act accordingly, so Iranians have a pleasant
opinion of us.

Appendix B
playlist, one selection per day
Boards of Canada: Beware the Friendly Stranger
Boards of Canada: Gyroscope
Bob Dylan: Dirt Road Blues
Lee 'Scratch' Perry: Vibrator
The Dandy Warhols: Heroin Is So Passe
Heitor Villa Lobos: Ciclo Brasiliero (perf: Roberta Rust)
Ekova: Starlight in Daden
Judge Jules: Kosheen - Hide U
Symmetry: Silent Witness & Break - Again and Again
Thomas Tallis: Salvator mundi (perf: the Tallis Scholars)
Bunny Lee: Joshua Word Horn Version
Snap!: Rhythm is a Dancer
Husker Du: Do You Remember?
Public Enemy: Shut Em Down
Dizzy Gillespie: Bang, Bang
The Dandy Warhols: Minnesoter
Iggy Pop: I Wanna Be Your Dog
The KLF featuring Tammy Wynette: Justified & Ancient
Orchestra Baobab: Ray m'bele
Travis: As You Are
Richie Hawtin: Closer to the Edit, Tracks 14-17
Cassandra Wilson: Blue Skies
Lightning Head vs Kocani Orkestar: Usti, Usti, Baba
Josquin des Pres: Missa l'homme (perf: The Tallis Scholars)
Boards of Canada: Diving Station
K*Swing: Super Pet - Pet (Evil 9 mix)
K*Swing: Stich Up - Proper Filthy Naughty
Oliver Klein: Rheinkraft
Elvis Costello & The Attractions: The Beat
Peaches: Keine Melodien

And, of course, Paul Birken’s live set at Human Condition,
January 2003, left somewhere in Iran... I wonder where?

Appendix C
Hotels
Prices are approximate. Everything is negotiated in tomans.

Water from the showers (and bathtubs) is drawn off via floor
drain, meaning that your bathroom floor may be flooded. Most
tourist restaurants and hotel rooms have western toilets, but
expect squats everywhere else.

Each of these places has breakfast (flatbread, cheese, honey/jam,
tea, perhaps over-medium eggs, sometimes olives), sometimes
included depending on what was negotiated.

Parasto Hotel (Tehran): $25/night, western toilet, internet access,
solid fundamentals for non-First World accomodation.

Amir Kabir Hotel (Kashan): $30/night in low season, western
toilet, internet, close to Fin Gardens, CNN, good restaurant
featuring “bear” (non-alcoholic ‘beer’) and “freighed chicken”,
though its known for its traditional “fesenjun” - chicken in
pomegranate & walnut sauce.

Aria Hotel (Esfahan): great deal in a great location, less than $30
for both of us - reasonable negotiation (unlike next door) -
delightful cleaning lady who will wash your clothes (twice when
they're really dirty), bathtub, odd-ish balconies overlooking the
main thoroughfare - so much of Iran is retro because its old. The
owner speaks English.

Malek-o Tojjar (Yazd): atmospheric traditional hotel hidden
inside the bazaar through a labrinthe of lanterned alleys opening
into a courtyard whose tent-ed roof still features Pahlavi lions
sewn into the canvas, about $30-35/night for both of us (low
season prices), internet access, good restaurant, {room didn't
have a sign pointing toward Mecca}, very popular
chaikuneh/hubble bubble spot in the evening (women smoke the
water pipe, I saw a four year old enjoying the galyan), rooms a
little smelly but olfactorily adaptable, young & friendly staff who
speak some English and can hook you up with a driver to Chak
Chak, western toilet/clean bathroom; worth the months I spent
dreaming about the place.

Eram Hotel (Shiraz): located in heart of the city, about $45 for
both of us, BBC, western toilet/clean bathrooms, the local Super
League Football Club stays here before its games, walking
distance to the bazaar, internet access at the hotel or across the
street.

Morvarid Hotel (Tabriz): The Hotel Sina turned down the easiest
money they would have made all year, because we didn’t end up
staying overnight in Tabriz. Next door at the Morvarid it was $20
for both of us.

Shurabil Hotel (Ardabil): lovely location on a small lake with
dramatic mountain background, doubt anyone had been there in a
while - it was the dead of winter - but the guys running the place
are very friendly, their kids quite precocious and eager to practice
English, naturally took a bit for the large rooms to warm up in the
cold weather, $20-25 dollars for both of us.

Iran Hotel (Anzali): balconies overlooking Caspian lagoon -
especially pretty at sunrise, could use fresh carpet, internet access
a good distance away managed by a woman who played the same
Reza Sadeghi song over and over - mash’allah it was a nice song
- some pizza places nearby; large bathroom, $30-35 for both of
us.

Iran Hotel (Qazvin): one of the best deals in Iran, central city
location, $20 for both of us, clean rooms with IKEA-type
accessories. I thought my neighbors were having sex, but it was
just the pidgeons cooing on the bathroom window sill.

Golestan Hotel (Tehran): $26/night for me, odd flickering
flourescent in my room but it didn't keep me up, clean and
comfortable, good deal in decent location near dozens of office
furniture stores, friendly staff. Saw Barcelona take down Chelsea.

Appendix D
Transportation:
Drivers went between cities for about $20-30 dollars. In-city taxis
were less than 50 cents to a dollar or more. Day drivers to places
like Persepolis, Chak Chak, Abyeneh, Masuleh, Alamut run from
$15-$30. Bus tickets, depending on the quality of the bus, range
from $2-6 per ticket. Airfare from Shiraz to Tehran on Iran Air
was about $30 a person. Two first class/sleeper car train tickets -
had we used them - from Tehran to Tabriz cost $30. Bus drivers
adorn their vehicles with translucent stickers proclaiming “Only
God”, “Best Quality” and “WeLcome to my bus”. Every driver’s
dashboard carries a stuffed animal.

You will invariably encounter drivers who initially turn down
payments that represent a significant portion of their monthly
income. They’ll accept eventually, but its your responsibility to
insist.

Appendix E
Food and bathrooms:
Meat and rice. Doogh is a yogurt drink. Pizzas are eaten with
ketchup (except by me) on top of the cheese and meat. For the
rice and kebab crowd, spoons scoop up more than forks, one of
the reasons your Iranian friend will almost certainly be done
eating before you. Oranges are lemons. Sweet-teeth richly
satisfied from an abundance of confection and fruit.

Iranians know they eat too fast, but H2 says they don’t really care
about their health. Its a “Go with God” attitude. If you’re
travelling in a taxi at 200 kph, intersect a killing wind and your
number comes up, so be it. Don’t worry so much. H2 continues
to study engineering because “Iranians never know what their
future holds”.

Service in restaurants may not be what Americans are used to.
Remember where you are. Iran, like many places, can be dusty
and trash strewn. There are squat toilets. H2’s father told me of
an American who exited an ‘Old World’ facility with the seat of
his pants drenched, repeating, “You Persians are really smart.”
After some prodding, he added, “You must be smart to use one
of those things without getting wet.” Apparently, he sat down in
it.

Converserly, there’s the story of a Persian guy who comes out of
a Western commode perplexed, the floor covered. He, allegedly,
got up on the seat and used it like a squat.

Appendix F
Random:
Iran is three hours and *thirty minutes* from Grenwich Mean
Time.

Persians are not Arabs and they’re not Turks and they’ll tell you
so. Neither are they terribly casual about telling you what’s
wrong with Arabs and Turks. Women who can afford them
sometimes wear colored contact lenses to take the ‘darkness’ out
of their eyes. Iranian men consider themselves black.

90% of the conversations transcibed here were conducted in
English on my end and Farsi on my counterpart’s, with H2
translating. Sorry for the dream sequences, its so rare that I
remember my dreams I have to write them down when I do.

The comments are on, have at it. Feel free to remain anonymous - if it isn’t
obvious, I’ve done so to protect the identities of anyone
responsible for me should I have gotten myself into trouble. My
paranoia couldn’t sustain any pitched level once I was there,
however. Should you post, please keep it clean and refrain from
needlessly confrontational dispatches. Befarmayid.

Appendix G
Safety for Americans:
Well, you live in a dangerous country, so a trip to Iran is probably
going to be pretty relaxing. Before I left there was a story about
gangs who tied up homeless people and beat them to death with
baseball bats. The perpetrators were not Hezbollah, nor Hamas.
They were teenage Floridians.

A couple years ago the US State Department re-issued its Travel
Warning concerning Iran. The next day the Iranian Foreign
Minister released a press statement saying “Americans are safer in
Iran than they are in America.”

Your friends will say, “Tell them you’re Canadian.” There are a
lot of reasons why this is wrong {google “canadian iranian
photojournalist”}. It seems to me the best thing you can tell an
Iranian is that you’re American. In ten thousand years, the
Persians have been on top several times, they know what its like
and appreciate the American position.

I don’t say this to be anti-gun - I had my first gun permit when I
was 12 - but outside an elite game-hunting class its illegal for a
private citizen to own a gun in Iran. True, American gun rights
advocates would say the makeup of the Iranian government is
precisely the reason they should possess, its also true that there is
little or no gun violence in Iran.

Of course, you assume some risk no matter where you travel. It
requires research into customs and history - thankfully, its
fascinating stuff. Travellers should take care, however; tourist
kidnappings have happened in southeastern Sistan & Baluchistan
province, not because of politics or religion, but drug running.

*

In at least two of our hotels signs were hung with a quote from
Imam Ali to the effect: “Any traveller in a Moslem land that loses
his property should have that property replaced by the
authorities.” This was IN THE HOTEL.

Besides a handful of carpet dealers and five-star hotels, your
Western credit cards are worthless in Iran. American banks are
sanctioned from doing business with Iranian banks. That means
every traveller who arrives in Iran must do so with all the money
s/he plans to spend in cold, hard cash on their person. Iranians
know this.

Petty and violent crime against tourists is virtually unheard of in Iran.

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The relative complexities of men's and women's fashion

Both women and men can have the pressures of maintaining their clothing up-to-date and in time, yet men's fashion often seems a lot less complicated. Of program, for both sexes, outfits and style choices may be quite as elaborate, and there are many'fashionable'items that can easily become fashion faux pas - who can say they often times see people travelling in 70s flames? On the other hand, men's fashion includes a few staple items which will exist eternally - which man is going to look out of place with a good-quality, tailored suit, for example? Choose traditional cuts, colors and fabrics and you'll never seem out-of-place.

Why common men's fashion is eternal

The classic man's suit has hardly changed for over a hundred years. True, there are numerous options for different occasions, but they are all popular in their search for a smart, sharp search for the person. The good thing about classic style for men is that it's effortlessly elegant simply neat. A well-groomed gentleman can typically look his sharpest in a well-tailored suit, and it is a testament to the style of such apparel. A suit will undoubtedly be worn to work in several occupations due to the professional look it affords to the person, instilling a feeling of respect and trust. Similarly a suit will undoubtedly be worn to several social situations, like a tuxedo to a black-tie event. This incredible flexibility that enables suits to be worn in nearly all situations is what gives it its classic advantage and a permanent devote men's fashion.

Modern trends in classic men's style

Though classic men's designs can never be replaced, it's interesting to note that shifts in men's fashion trends have produced certain classic garments back in fashion. The recognition of vintage clothing, especially, has brought back a wide-variety of basic styles into men's wardrobes, such as that of the dandy man. 'Dandy'is a term used to make reference to men who dress yourself in a classic yet extravagant way, working in a sophisticated approach and placing importance on appearance. This pattern for nearly'over-the-top'common style for men is evident from events including the'Tweed Run', where men and girls of all ages dress yourself in obviously Victorian-style attire and decide to try the roads on vintage bicycles - with many of the men wearing perfect mustaches! This is only one of several examples of proof presenting the resurrection of such designs. Additionally, there are numerous sites on the web which give attention to gentlemanly style - such as'The Dandy Project'and'Dandyism'- as well as entire web sites such as'The Art of Manliness'focused on giving articles on classic men's fashion and grooming.

In conclusion, although specific facets of common men's style can be brought back as new styles, the simple clothes which they are derived from will never slip out of fashion.

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